BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Will Be Dead By Morning

Hillary Clinton was in a 13-car pileup accident outside of Westchester, New York this afternoon, according to our source at Mercy General Hospital. According to Dr. Jim Cox, Hillary Clinton isn’t officially there, but she will be pronounced dead there:

“Mrs Clinton was involved in the accident. I tended to her personally. She would have been fine had it not been for the barrel of hydrochloric acid that spilled at her feet as she tried to exit from a chemical supply company truck that rear-ended her. The acid burned through her shoe and her skin and entered her bloodstream in lethal quantities. She’ll expire by 6AM Eastern.”

No mainstream media sources have been able to confirm anything other than the accident itself, which none of them will report on without confirmation.

We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.