BREAKING: Democratic Congressman Arrested For Doing The Unthinkable In God’s House

 

Sweet Jesus, y’all. I don’t even know how I am going to get through this bit of news. I feel so dirty just reading the newswire alert, but it is important that we expose these Godless Demoncrats for who they are, so I just have to push onward. On Thursday morning, news broke that a Democratic state congressman had been taken into custody by the Shaville Sheriff’s Department after being caught doing the unthinkable in the Lord’s House,

Shaville sheriff deputies arrived at St. Joseph’s on 34th Ave at 3:30am Wednesday morning after strange sounds were reported coming from the front of the church. Deputies found state Congressman Patrick Sodoman engaging in anal intercourse with an unidentified man. Officers took both men into custody, Congressman Sodoman has refused to comment.

According to our Shaville correspondent, Sarah Barberson, the church was buzzing with activity. Horrified parishioners dressed in protective gear were seen scrubbing the church pews and trying to get rid of the sinful lubricant that the congressman poured all over when officers were wrestling him into custody. The children of God were absolutely horrified when they found out what happened in their sanctuary and are now demanding Congressman Sodoman resign.

 

Sodoman, a married father of five, was elected in 2014 when Barry Sotero was squatting in the White House. It’s time to get this man out of office, fellow patriots! Call your representatives and demand they ask for Sodoman’s resignation! Better yet, call the White House comments line and ask our great President Donald Trump to take care of this and Make St. Joseph’s Holy Again!